What Child Is This?
by The ORIGINAL Corky
Summary: Raph ponders the meaning and purpose of Christmas. Can he learn it all from a small homeless child he mets that cold Christmas Eve? Read and find out. First in Turtles Christmas Miracles Series. Previously released under different penname
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer::Sighs:: I still don't own any of them...Except for Jesse, Joe, and MJ.**

**Author's Note: Ok...keep in mind for me people, this was written like three or four years ago...so my writing might seem a little weird. This is also a Christmas story that I had posted on my website (but I had to remove it and another one which I'll be posting very soon to make room for some other things). So...I hope you enjoy it. It's a Raphael story by the way. Oh! Also! Since this was written about four years ago and it _nothing_ to do with the Mikey/Gwen trilogy I've been working on. Just so you know. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Deck the halls with greens and stuffing, fa la la la la hm hm hm hm."

"Mikey, that's not how the song goes!"

"So? It sounds better that way. Where was I? Oh yes! Light the tree and eat the pizza, fa la la la la…hmmmm…pizza. Eh. Jingle bells, Raphie smells…" Michelangelo and his brothers were busy decorating their home, which was really a lair in the New York City sewer system, for Christmas. It was Christmas Eve and they wanted to make sure everything was perfect for when Santa got there that night. For the most part they didn't believe in Santa anymore, except for Mikey. Something told them all he would never stop believing.

Raph groaned loudly and chucked the wad of Christmas lights across the lair in frustration. It never failed, every year he got stuck untangling the tangled up mess of lights. He hated it. He hated lights, he hated everyone's good mood, but most of all, he hated Christmas. Sad, isn't it? A child of no more than 15 hating Christmas? He didn't always hate it. When he and his brothers were younger, it was he that would drag everyone out of bed to go and see what Santa had brought them. He wasn't sure when that all changed, all he knew was that the holiday had lost its awe and wonder. It's magic that could cause even the low life scum to keep out of trouble for at least one night was gone. He no longer felt it. Instead, he felt a hollow and empty place in his heart. A soft of longing he couldn't explain.

"I hate Christmas lights!" he fumed. Mikey looked up from his task of stringing popcorn for the tree and stared at his brother with wide eyes.

"Whoa! Major turtle tantrum! You better watch your tempter bro, or else you'll get nuttin' for Christmas."

"Who cares!? Christmas is no fun anymore anyways! Why are we doing all of this anyways? We're just gonna take it down again in a week anyways!" Raph kicked the box of Christmas lights and nearly hi Mikey's pet cat Klunk. Donny, who had been working on setting up the Christmas tree, looked at his brother and shrugged.

"Because we do it every year?" he asked before turning his attention back to he tree.

"Cuz if we don't, Santa won't come! I hope he got my letter. I asked for a turbo powered SXL remote controlled speedboat and a PS2 and 'Jak and Daxter' and…"

"No! I mean there's gotta be something else besides getting gifts. Christmas has become way too commercial. I hate it. I hate Christmas. It's pointless."

Everyone, including Klunk it seemed, stopped what they were doing and stared at Raphael in disbelief. Mikey's mouth was hanging open like a fish and he wasn't too sure he had even heard his brother right.

"You…hate…Christmas?" Mikey questioned still in shock.

"Yeah! I hate it. It's stupid and pointless. It's for suckers who waste money on stupid gifts and it's pointless!!" Growled Raph as he tossed a snowflake Mikey had made to the small heater and watched as it smothered into nothing.

"Are you saying Master Splinter is a sucker for saving money to buy us small gifts?" Leo asked, more than slightly annoyed with his brother.

"Hey, if the shoe fits, Leo!"

"Hey, don't worry 'bout it Leon! Splinter doesn't buy the gifts anyways. Santa brings 'em! Remember?" Mikey had the innocence of a child, which made it hard for many people to find ways of saying 'No' to him on subjects he believed strongly in. Sometimes his child like innocence would cause his brothers to wonder if there was something seriously wrong with him or if he was just acting like that as some form of security. Leo looked from Mikey to Donny and then back at Raph before nodding.

"Yeah Mike. But sometimes Splinter gets us stuff too."

"Oh yeah. I forgot."

"That's another thing! This whole Santa thing is a load of crap! There is no such thing as Santa! You're 15 Mikey, get over it! He ain't real!" Raph looked at Mike hard with his cold eyes as he felt his anger start to build up again. Mike stared at Raph with a looked of disappointment and heartache playing on his face.

"Raph, knock it off. If Mikey wants to believe in Santa let him. There's nothing wrong with believing in something." Leo stated calmly, trying not to upset both Mikey and Raph.

"There's plenty wrong with it Leo! He's 15 years old! It's time he grew up!"

"You mean like you have? Raph, you're 15 too; it's time you showed some compassion towards other people! So just leave Mikey alone."

"God! You guys are hopeless! I'm outta 'ere!" With that, Raphael grabbed his coat and hat and stormed out of the lair. Mikey looked at his two remaining stunned brothers with pleading eyes.

"He…he was only joking right? He didn't mean it…did he? Everything he said, he didn't mean it?"

"Of course not Mikey. Why don't you and Klunk go get Santa's Christmas pizza out of the oven and get it ready to go?" Donny suggested, patting his favorite brother's shoulder. Mikey shrugged and his smile returned.

"All right! C'mon Klunk, sing it with me now! Jingle bells, Raphie smells, Leo laid an egg, the battle shell lost its wheel and Donny took ballet, HEY!"

Leonardo and Donatello both groaned and smacked their foreheads.

"Ya know, sometimes I hate that guy. Yeah…" Donny said, shaking his head before looking back to the Christmas tree.


	2. Chapter 2

Raph walked through the cold, busy streets of New York completely unnoticed by people passing him by to get home. It was starting to get dark and as many people know, walking the streets of New York is never safe in the dark, no matter WHAT time of the year it is. Mother's held tight to their youngsters hands as they passed toy store windows and father's struggled to get their last minute shopping done and over with so they could be home in time for Christmas dinner. 

Grumbling, Raph passed an Acapella group on the corner who were singing Christmas carols merrily and headed into the park where it was dark and he could think. Snow had started to fall lightly but he didn't seem to notice or care. In the distance he could hear people yelling at one another for stealing their taxicab, taking the last one of a certain toy they had promised their child, and for just being there in general. Raph sighed and sat down on a bench that was hidden by the shadows and put his head in his hands. Where had his Christmas spirit gone? Was it lost in all the grumbles and groans of everyday life in New York?

"This is the stupidest holiday of the year." He grumbled into his hands. Just then a shadow loomed over him from out of no where and caught him completely off guard. He knew he wasn't paying much attention, but he was paying enough attention to hear someone coming towards him a hundred feet away, but this person he never even heard coming. Looking up quickly, he saw the face of a young boy, no more than six or seven no doubt. He was dressed in rags and his hair was unruly, but still he had a small smile playing on his face.

"Hello." The boy said softly, tilting his head to one side to try and see Raph's face a little better. Raph looked at the boy for a minute before giving a curt nod of the head.

"Heya Kid." He answered, not really wanting to deal with a little kid at that point in time.

"Are you ok?" the boy asked. Again, Raph looked at the boy strangely.

"Yeah, Kid. I'm fine. I just need to do some thinking tonight."

"Oh? Tonight's the best night to do thinking. Since it's Christmas and everything, thinking just seems to be everyone's thing tonight. My name's Jesse, what's yours?"

"Raphael. Shouldn't you be at home right now Jesse? Where it's warm?" Jesse gave a small, timid smile before shaking his head no.

"Haven't got one to go to." Raph looked at the boy in wonderment. He didn't seem to mind being homeless during Christmas time, in fact, it seemed to Raph that he kind of liked it.

"Ya haven't got a home? Where do you live then?"

"At a shelter with my mother and father. We were run from our home months before I was born. Tomorrow's my birthday." Jesse answered brightly, smiling from ear to ear. Raph didn't know why, but there was something about this kid that made him feel comfortable talking to him, something about him that made it seem like he was talking to Mikey and not some homeless kid.

"Boy, ain't you lucky. Being born on the worst day of the year. I feel sorry for you kid. You got any brothers or sisters?"

"No, I'm an only child. What about you?" Raph rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Don't remind me. I have three other brothers." Jesse gave a knowing smile as if he had already known Raph did but wanted to ask it anyways. Jesse stepped closer to the bench and Raph noticed that he didn't have any shoes on either and that worried him a little bit. Jesse sat down next to Raph and gave another friendly smile.

"Hey Kid, aren't you gonna get sick with no shoes on? Or a coat?" Raph questioned in confusion. Jesse shrugged and shook his head.

"Don't think so. Haven't yet. How come you're out here in the cold? Shouldn't you be at home with your brothers and dad?" Jesse asked casually. Raph shrugged and looked at the snow-covered pathway.

"I needed to get out. My brother's were driving me crazy with their Christmas cheer and if I had stayed there any longer I probably would have ended up hurting one of them more than I already did." Raph answered; unaware that Jesse had only mentioned a father and not mother.

"Oh. They're your age aren't they? 15?" Raph nodded and sighed again.

"Yeah…one acts like he's 20 though, another acts like he's 5, and the other acts like…well…Einstein basically." Jesse smiled and giggled a little. He liked the way Raph described his brothers, it was so true.

"What about your dad? What's he like?"

"Well…he's getting old so ya know, he's tryin' ta get me and my brothers to be more responsible and grown up so when he goes we can fully take care of ourselves. Over all though, he's a good guy. Always there for me and my brothers when we needed him so." Raph shrugged once more and looked skyward. For a moment, neither one said anything until Jesse finally giggled.

"Would you like to come see where I live?" he asked, looking at Raph hopefully. Raising an eyebrow, Raph felt the sudden need to say yes, though he didn't know why.

"Sure kid. Why not. It's gotta be better than where I live." He answered standing up. Jesse smiled from ear to ear and jumped off the bench and seemed to almost float back down to the ground instead of landing heavily.

"C'mon!" Jesse reached out to take Raph's hand and Raph found himself allowing the motion. Normally, if someone tried to touch him out in public he'd become angry and glare at them until they got the picture. But with this strange boy, he just felt the need to let everything his said or did happen and not object to any of it. Jesse led the way down the crowded streets and again no one seemed to notice either one of them.

"So kid, where were you born?"

"Uh…Bethlehem, Pennsylvania I think. I don't really know for sure. I do know though that I was born in basement room of a hotel. Mama says the hotel manager felt so bad for them and since all his rooms were booked up that he gave them a room in the basement that had once been a…what did mama call it again? Oh, a boiler room." Jesse seemed to be proud of his history despite the fact that it had seemed to be almost worse than Raph's own so far. Granted, Jesse had loving and caring parents and was a product of love but still, the poor child didn't even have decent clothes, no home, and probably wasn't going to be getting anything for Christmas.

They continued to walk down the streets of New York until they got to a homeless shelter where people dressed in raggy old clothes stood in line to get something warm to eat and possibly something warm to wear. Jesse moved past everyone and took Raph to the second story where families lived in their own little areas.

"Hi Mrs. Brown, Merry Christmas!" Jesse called as he past by an elderly woman who looked like she was older than dirt itself. Mrs. Brown looked up from her sewing and smiled at Jesse and Raph.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Jesse! And Happy Birthday as well." Raph looked at all the homeless people and saw how happy some of them seemed. It amazed and confused him to see everyone there in such good moods when they had no place to call their own and nothing that was truly their own that was worth keeping hold of.

Jesse led Raph to a back corner of the second floor where a cubical was built up around two beds. Sitting on one bed was a woman, no more than twenty-two, folding worn torn clothes and humming softly to herself. Sitting on a stole in the corner was a man in his mid thirties with a small brown beard, holding a piece of wood and a knife. Raph watched him for a minute as he cut away at it, turning it into a small toy train very slowly. There was something way too familiar about everything that Jesse had told him and with the scene played out before him. Yet, even after scanning him memory quickly, he was unable to pick up on what it was that was so familiar.

"Mama, Papa, I want you to meet my new friend. This is Raphael. Raphael, this is my mama and my papa." Jesse said pointing to his family. Jesse's parents looked up and smiled at their son and his new friend. They didn't seem at all horrified by the fact that their son had just brought home a walking talking teenage turtle.

"Very pleased to meet you Raphael. My name is Mary-Jane, but you may call me MJ, or Mary, which ever you prefer." MJ said, standing up to shake hands with their visitor.

"Pleasures all mine ma'am." Raph said, shaking her hand carefully, still not really sure about what was going on around him. Jesse's father set his knife and piece of wood down and approached Raph. His face was set in a hard expression and Raph was sure this would be the end up of him. This guy was bound to yell at him, call him a freak of nature and order him out and away from his family. Bracing for the blow, Raph was shocked when the man smiled kindly and stuck his hand out in greeting.

"How do you do, Raphael? My name is Joe, welcome to our meager, but humble home. Won't you please sit?" Joe offered Raph his stool and Raph eagerly accepted it. The second floor seemed to be rather chilly but for some reason, in that little corner he was in, it was nice and warm. Jesse smiled at Raph before picking up a pile of clothes his mother had placed on his small bed. Quickly, Jesse put the clothes in a chest and stood back up.

"Mama, papa, Raphael has three brothers and they're all his age." Jesse said excitedly. MJ smiled at her son and then looked at Raph.

"My, your lair must be a pretty busy place during the holidays. It's no wonder you would want to get out for a little bit." She said smiling. Raph nodded his head and looked around him.

"Nice place. Kind of reminds me of my home." Raph said softly. Joe smiled a little and nodded.

"It isn't really much, but for now it's home. Tell me Raphael, what is your Christmas wish this year? Everyone must have at least one Christmas wish, what's yours?" Raph thought for a minute. That was a kind of strange questioned and he wasn't really sure how to answer it.

"You needn't answer it right away. You can think about it until the end of the night if you wish. I was just curious. Jesse? Perhaps you had best walk your friend home now? It's getting late and cold out. You don't want his father and brothers to become worried about him do you?" Joe asked, looking at his son with love and care in his eyes.

"Ok papa. C'mon Raphael. I'll see you both when I get back. Love you." Jesse said giving both his parents a hug and kiss before leading Raph back down to street level. Jesse turned to the left and began heading back towards the manhole Raphael had used to get out of the sewer with.

"I bet Leo is happy to know all you guys are healthy this Christmas. That's one of his biggest fears, you guys not being ok, something being wrong with one of you. He especially worries about you Raphael. Him and your Master Splinter both worry about your temper. They don't like it when you become upset and leave for hours on end." Jesse said suddenly as they got to the corner of the street. Raph shot his head around and looked at the boy through narrow eyes. He opened his mouth to make some smartass remark but found that he couldn't get the words out. Jesse ignored his looks and continued to look forward. He had a far off look in his eye that reminded Raph of the look Mikey would get when he was picking up on the other's emotions.

"Splinter worries about all of you too. He's afraid though, that once he's gone, you won't listen to anyone anymore and let your temper get the best of you and end up getting hurt. He's sad that you won't allow your brothers to help you channel your anger, that you try to face it all on your own." Who did this kid think he was? Raph once again tried to say something but still found that he couldn't. The streets suddenly seemed very empty, dark, and quiet.

"Donatello is pretty excited about this Christmas. He made you something special that he's sure you're going to enjoy. He decided you needed a way to release your anger and that your need for speed was just the right idea for his perfect Christmas gift for you." Jesse walked out into the middle of the street and Raph was shocked to discover that for once there didn't seem to be any cars rushing about. There was a strange, misty light around them though that he couldn't quite explain; though he finally decided it was coming from the streetlights above.

"Michelangelo though, he was extremely excited about Christmas. The sites, the sounds, the smells, the feeling of family being near, everything made him excited about Christmas. You once felt the same way as he still does…or did at least until you blew your top at him and caused him to question his belief in the Christmas Spirit. He had made what he thought to be the perfect gift for you. The only thing he could come up with and be able to do and do well enough to meet your satisfaction. You may or may not realize this Raphael, but Michelangelo looks up to you very much. You are after all his brother, his favorite brother. It never bothers him that you flip your lid, in fact, he's the one to calm you down most times. If you tell him something, he's more likely to believe you than any one of our brothers." Jesse stopped talking when they got to the alley where the manhole lay unopened. Raph stood there and looked at Jesse for a few more minutes. The alley they were in had no lights what-so-ever and that was why Raph always choose that alley to come out of, but yet, the strange misty light still remained around them.

Jesse looked Raphael right in the eyes and Raph suddenly felt like the world was placed onto his shoulders. The weight was starting to become unbearable when Jesse finally blinked and his crystal clear blue eyes showed that he was holding a burden on his own shoulders that was possibly the biggest burden there was.

"You're Christmas wish was to find out what happened to the Christmas Spirit in your life and in the life of the people around you, right?" Raph never took his eyes off the boy but nodded his head slowly.

"The spirit never left you Raphael, it's still there, in your heart. It's in your family, the love and tolerance they show towards you. It's in the heart of a child, it's in the heart of a person who has nothing more than a bunk and worn clothes but is still grateful to have a warm place to stay and food to eat. People's vision of the true meaning of Christmas has been clouded by they greed and need for more belongings. The shine from the tinsel has glared out the shine that once shown bright from everyone's heart. The purpose of Christmas is to be with family, loved ones. Too many people are too busy to be with the ones that they love on Christmas, that they have no time for Christmas. You see Raphael, Christmas was not just some holiday invented by toy and chocolate factories, Christmas is not just another day of life. Christmas is a feeling that people should carry with them throughout the year. I hope that you understand now Raphael. Goodnight, and Merry Christmas."

Jesse broke their eye contact and began to walk past Raphael. As he passed, Raph felt the weight lift from his shoulders and the warmth that once had been in his heart during Christmas time began to return. Turning quickly, Raph ran around the corner and was shocked to discover that the streets returned to their noisy, crowded selves, people were still hustling and bustling about and there was not a trace of Jesse anywhere. Thinking quick, Raph climbed to the rooftops and began his journey back to the homeless shelter he had just been at, hoping to beat Jesse back. When he reached the building however, he was stunned to find that it was dark and boarded up. Surely it couldn't have been condemned so quickly, and on Christmas Eve and that? Looking into the windows, Raph found that the building was completely empty and probably had been for many years.

But what about Jesse then? His mother, Mary-Jane? His father, Joe? Mrs. Brown? Where did all of them go? The line of raggy clothed people out front, they all were gone. Shocked and confused, Raphael climbed back onto the rooftops and quickly headed back home. It was nearly eleven P.M. and he knew he would get a good long lecture from Leo for being gone for so long, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get home and tell everyone about what had just happened.

When he reached the lair again, he felt like he could fly he was so happy. He flung open the door and ran straight for the living room where Mikey and the others sat around the Christmas tree munching on a giant chocolate cookie Mikey had baked, waiting for Raph to come home so they could light the tree.

"There you are! Where have you been? You've been gone for almost four and a half hours!" Leo scolded as he glared his brother down.

"Yeah, I know Leo, sorry about that. I didn't mean ta worry ya. I just needed to think some things through though. You guys wouldn't believe what just happened to me though!" Raph said happily, his eyes shining brightly with excitement. Mikey stood up quickly and looked at Raph with a mixture of wonder and resentment at the same time in his eyes.

"You're right, we probably wouldn't believe you. It's not healthy to believe in things after all, is it Raph?" he asked coldly, crossing his arms over his chest. Raph looked at his brother with pleading eyes.

"Mikey, I'm sorry I told you there wasn't a Santa Claus. There really is, I swear my life on it that there is. And it's important to believe in things!" Raph said excitedly, looking at his brothers and his Master Splinter quickly.

"Well, everyone has to believe in something, I believe…I'm going to have more eggnog." Donny said as he stood up and walked passed Raph, holding his empty mug which once held eggnog.

"Don't you guys wanna hear about what happened to me tonight? I met this kid…and…and…" Raph stopped short as he suddenly found it impossible to explain the happenings of his night to the rest of his family. His brothers looked at him strangely and then at each other before shrugging. Splinter stood up carefully and walked over to Raphael. Placing a hand on his son's shoulder, Splinter looked Raph in the eyes.

"My son, I am not sure what has happened to you this night, all that I am sure of is that when you left here you were an angry, troubled, young boy. Now you have returned, you are happy, carefree seeming. The events of your night are not as important as your true happiness, whatever that may be."

"My true happiness sensei? My true happiness is being here with you guys! I know I can be a pain in the shell, and get pretty hot headed sometimes,"

"Sometimes?" Donny whispered to Mikey. Mikey stifled a laugh and shrugged.

"But you guys are my family. I got so mad trying to figure out what had happened to the Christmas spirit that I was blind to see that you guys all ARE the Christmas spirit…in your own ways." Raph looked at his dumbfounded brothers and then at his ever thoughtful master.

"Ok, who are you? And what have you done with our brother Raphael?" Leo asked, pointing a finger at Raph. Raph laughed a little and shrugged.

"Let's just say I got some sense knocked into me from a kid who had it worse then me." Mikey walked up to Raph and put an arm around his brother.

"So? You REALLY say there's a Santa huh?" he asked hopefully. Raph saw the belief start to over power the disbelief in his brothers' eyes and nodded quickly.

"You better believe it bro'n'oh."

"Excellent! Cuz other wise I just made a cookie and carrot pizza for nothing!" Mikey said excitedly. Raph laughed again and gave his brother a nooggie before smiling at everyone else.

"Merry Christmas, ya guys."

"Merry Christmas, Raph!" they all said.

"Hey Mikey? What's that song you were singing earlier? The jingle bells one?" Mikey's eyes lit up as he looked at his brother.

"You really wanna know?"

"Yeah."

"Ok…Jingle Bells, Raphie smells, Leo laid an egg…"

"Yeah…that's what I thought it was!" Mikey continued to sing his song happily as his family shook their head before joining in singing the song with him.


End file.
